Image for post
Image for post

Disputes and conflict do not always bring out our best selves. We tend to want to avoid both or fight for what’s important to us. Rare is it that we think “the way” through the negativity or drama is to build bridges.

Yet that is one of the ultimate “people skills” and no hyperbole to claim the capacity to build bridges as a superpower.

This is not some new idea either. As humans, we’re just slow to learn certain truths and wisdom, much to our detriment, not only culturally but in our closest relationships, personally and personally.

“We build too…


Image for post
Image for post

Investing time and generosity with the media to build a healthy relationship before you want or need the attention, trust and benefit of the doubt with reporters or columnists is an idea to think about and pursue. Your future self could very well thank you.

Introduce yourself briefly to media professionals and make it clear with (unspoken) unselfish motives that you are accessible as a source for your knowledge, expertise and insights, while providing your contact information. Back up this offer by being promptly and pleasantly responsive and of value in the media’s mind if contacted. …


Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Jakayla Toney on Unsplash

Reporters are not immune to mistakes, errors and facing the intense heat of crisis in name and career due to damage to their reputation. They too must accept punishments for their judgment, decision-making and behavior.

Two New York Times journalists are in the midst of that pain now, having resigned due to actions deemed to be unacceptable to the brand of the media giant.

In his article at The Hill, Two New York Times journalists to leave amid criticism of behavior, Tal Axelrod details the end of the work at the paper of Donald McNeil, a science reporter, and Andy…


Image for post
Image for post

Pain is an interesting component of our lives. It is at the root of so much of our psychology, from thoughts to interpretations (accurate or not), coping, conscious decision-making and behavior.

Sometimes pain inspires us to resilience and healthy accomplishment, other times it is crippling and leads us down the path of destruction or self-destruction. It is always influencing us, always, in some way, a motivator of mindset, reactions and responses.

This all came back to me when I recently came across a quote.

“It was my pain that led me to my greatness, and my greatness would eventually lead…


Image for post
Image for post

What we ignore or tolerate is to which what we give approval, whether that is consciously or subconscious, not only with other people but ourselves.

“The standard you walk past is the standard you accept.”

David Morrison

Morrison, chosen the Australian of the year in 2016, spoke those words in advocating for gender equality in the army and shared that he first heard those words from former Chief of Defence, General David J. Hurley.

This recognition of what we choose not to walk past or instead tolerate is critical to understand in everyday life, whether it be in any organization…


Image for post
Image for post

We see people do it often, yet we might also be doing it; becoming foggy minded about questionable or selfish behavior and the negative impact it has on other people, as well as on our name.

In his article, “Unethical Amnesia’ Explains Why People Conveniently Forget Their Awful Behavior,” Drake Baer writes for “The Cut” about the work of Maryam Kouchaki, a Northwestern University professor and Francesca Gino, a Harvard Business School professor.

The two organizational psychologists learned from their nine experiments, (2,100 participants) “that recalling unsavory actions causes ‘psychological discomfort,’ so people have fuzzier memories of the bad things…


Image for post
Image for post

Sometimes the obvious is not something we easily learn and remember.

I was watching a movie last night where the lead character spoke about how we might only be known by our reputation.

Why is this important?

Whether as individuals or organizations, there are people with who we don’t have a history of human interaction with, yet they come to “know” us anyway by what they hear, read or see. …


Image for post
Image for post

It’s surprising to some people and organizations as well to learn that arrogance is destructive to reputation. What is it that we should know yet might not fully comprehend?

Carrying oneself with arrogance is believing, consciously or subconsciously, that its practice is somehow beneficial. This thinking and belief system, regardless of experiences, is of course problematic because it’s a false conclusion.

Those who willingly entrap themselves with this mindset don’t realize this behavior creates a multitude of problems, not only for others but themselves.

Arrogance doesn’t inspire “liking,” a trait of influence. It doesn’t convey credibility, build trust or lead…


Image for post
Image for post

It feels good to be confident, to believe and know you’re accurate in your assessments, to feel “I’m right.” It’s worthwhile to remember when you think of critics and especially when those same critics are acting as enemies.

Humans crave the psychological reward of confidence so much that they can, at times, manipulate themselves into that state of mind. Other times, they genuinely do feel incredibly intelligent and perceptive even while unknowingly moving into a state of overconfidence.

Regardless, whenever anyone — us or other people — do this, it’s an illusion being interpreted as reality and a compromised state…


Image for post
Image for post

Matt Lauer (photo) badly damaged his name, reputation and career due to his belief system and inappropriate behavior with women. He’s been paying a price for it that has reportedly caused him significant distress. However, is Lauer doing what is culturally expected to regenerate quality work opportunities?

It doesn’t appear so and that means he continues to be a contributor to his ongoing suffering.

Where Is Matt Lauer Now? Checkup Three Years After Sexual Assault Scandal, is a recent article about the subject, written by Cortney Drakeford, published in the International Business Times.

In it, he is reported to have…

Reputation Specialist Essays

Michael Toebe founded Reputation-Quality.com, Reputation-Interviews.com, RQCalls.com and QSR-Guide.com and is author of “Your Reputation Signature.” (Amazon)

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store